What color is your nursery? Over the past few months of pregnancy, I have learned a great deal. It seems that no one attracts unsolicited advice more than a pregnant woman. I've had complete strangers lecture me on a variety of subjects. Some of the information has been useful, but most of it has not. Most recently, I have learned that it is unheard of to bring a newborn home without first having arranged a "themed nursery." I have had as many people ask me about my nursery theme as I have had ask me about the baby's gender. When I laugh and tell the person that we don't have a theme, she inevitably looks horrified. For the record, my husband and I live in a two-bedroom house, and my husband uses the spare room as his office. We are planning on renovating and adding another room, we just haven't made the final plans yet. When the baby is born, he or she will be sharing the office with Brandon, who isn't entirely reconciled to the fact that his monster-sized desk will have to shrink a bit. I didn't really understand where this whole trend of themed nurseries came from until I visited a big baby store recently with a very brave, non-pregnant friend. No childbirth class in the world can prepare you for this experience, which is overwhelming to say the least. These huge baby marts have turned having a baby into a billion-dollar industry by guilting expectant parents, especially first-timers, into buying everything under the sun for their new bundle of joy, whether or not it is actually necessary. I discovered that were I so inclined, I could decorate our nursery/office in any number of themes - from Pooh (classic and modern) to Looney Toons to Noah's Ark to Nursery Rhymes. The store sells the complete sets, including crib sheets, curtains, wallpaper, border, lamps and diaper stackers. Until that evening, I didn't know what a diaper stacker was, let alone that I needed one that matched the crib sheets. The store was even more bewildering outside of the theme area. There was a whole wall of bottles and pacifiers. How on earth could I, as a novice, even begin to pick out the correct ones? Why on earth would I need an orthodontic pacifier for a baby who doesn't even have teeth? Is one brand of baby shampoo really better than another? And do I really need to use different laundry soap for the baby's clothes? I do enough loads of laundry as it is! Of course, the store is more than willing to help you with your selections. Registrants are provided with a list of suggested items and the recommended number to ask for. It seems that I could outfit a set of triplets with the amount of clothing recommended for the layette. We don't have room in our house to hold all of the things they suggest. And because I am the first of my friends here to have a baby, I don't even have an experienced mom to ask for help. My mother is of no use. She reminds me that when I was born they lived in a one-bedroom flat and that I slept in a cradle my father made for me. During the day she put the cradle on their bed, and at night she put it on the coffee table. She also tells me that all the baby really needs is some warm clothes, diapers and a safe place to sleep. It's a nice sentiment, but it does me no good when I'm in the midst more baby paraphernalia than I know what to do with. In the end, it turned into a scanning frenzy as my friend and I zapped the tags of anything and everything that looked interesting. Although I drew the line at the diaper genie and baby wipes warmer. When I got home and reviewed my list, I realized how far astray I had gone. Yes, I had selected three kinds of crib sheets - but I hadn't selected a crib. The choices seemed entirely random and illogical, which they were. It just means another trip to the store to straighten everything out. This time I will be better prepared, and I will drag my husband long for fun. He laughed at the things I selected. So he can go in and see what I was up against. I doubt he'll do any better.